Q: “Sometimes I feel anxious and as if I’m not in control of my thoughts and actions. Is there any way I can help myself when wedding planning?”
A: When we get nervous or experience anxiety it is common for us to feel disconnected from our own body and mind, which leads to further feelings of anxiety and as if we are losing control of ourself.
Anxiety and nerves are necessary and normal and we need to feel, not suppress, those emotions, as anxiety keeps us safe; it’s part of our fight and flight response – our internal alarm system. However, we have to be able to manage that internal alarm system.
When anxiety and nerves take over though, we start to feel disconnected from ourselves and it’s really useful to be able to utilise some tools from our wellbeing toolkit in order to get back in control of our thoughts and actions.
A good positive psychology intervention and tool for controlling nerves and anxiety is Grounding. Grounding is a mindful activity and helps us to come back into the present moment and be aware of how we are feeling.
The exercise 5-4-3-2-1 is a particularly useful quick intervention we can implement at any moment, without anyone knowing and it helps us to engage with all our senses and feel more attuned to our mind and body, thus having more control on the feeling of nerves and anxiety.
Try it and see how you feel. Hopefully you will experience a sense of calm and focus.
Wherever you are, take a few deep breaths, then focus on your natural breath pattern. Keep your head, neck, jaw and shoulders relaxed and ask yourself the following questions. What are:
5 things I can see?
4 things I can feel?
3 things I can hear?
2 things I can smell?
1 thing I can taste?
How do you feel now? Try this intervention any time you need to feel more grounded and add it into your wider wellbeing toolkit.
Tabby & Keri xx